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Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time.

In 1988 I was late for work and I was leaving the house at 5:30 am. There was a man coming along the road and he stopped me. He asked me if I believed in God. I answered with “My mother has had a brain tumour, she has had to have an operation due to something wrong with her stomach, she can hardly walk, my sister has TB, my father almost died from Hepatitis B, and you ask me if there’s a God?” I walked off and thought about what I had said to him. It occurred to me that I really didn’t believe in a God, so I shut it out. I became an atheist. Anyone mentioned God to me, I laughed at them.

Over the years, my conviction grew stronger. I started saying that going to church would cause my feet to burst into flames. I was even tempted a couple of times (I didn’t though) to go into a Christmas eve church service, drunk in an attempt to spoil it for people.  Yes I really was a nasty shit. Although not as nasty as a couple of people in my family who did do that.

I don’t know what happened, but I shifted from atheist to agnostic. I started wondering if there was a person, and if there was, where’s the proof. Towards the end of 2012, I started hearing about miracles that people were talking about. Some of them were really quite incredible. I thought I would try something. I asked for help with something, and suddenly, something happened with it. I figured that was a timely coincidence.

I saw light coming through the clouds. I said something along the lines of “If you really exist, do something with the light coming through the clouds” and this happened:

Then near the end of November, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. Aggressive, inoperable, cancer. So I prayed. I asked that he do something to stop her having cancer. In January she had a test. They had made a mistake. She didn’t have cancer at all.

So that is where I lost my faith and where I regained it.

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